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Good morning moms. Today is Monday, November 17, 2025, and this is the start of your mom work week. Before we get to the bullet points on our agenda, I need my coworkers to report to the break room because we have some serious water cooler chat to get caught up on. Namely, the biggest news in my house, the trailer for Toy Story 5 has hit the air. And I say that it's big news in my home.

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But what I really mean is that it's big news for me because I haven't told my kids yet. But I have watched the trailer myself. And if you haven't seen it, I  will fill you in. The trailer introduces the franchise's newest villain. This is a tablet named Lily Pad. And as you can extrapolate from that, the movie seems to be vilifying screen time, which is a very hot take to make if you are  Disney.

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As you might recall, Toy Story 1 premiered in November of 1995. Do you know what kind of screen time we had in 1995? It wasn't streaming. There were no iPads. Phones were connected to the wall in your home. So it'd be interesting to see how they're going to spin the bad guy being a tablet because I'm willing to bet

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a lot of consumption of Toy Story 5 is going to be  on a tablet.  But you can't get anything past Moms because we  all pointed out something in the trailer and that is that at the end of Toy Story 4, Woody left the gang to live a life of adventure with Bo Peep. Yet here he is in Bonnie's room,  inexplicably in the trailer for Toy Story 5, like nothing happened.

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During an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Tim Allen attempted to clear things up saying that the movie is quote, all about Jessie, which is really cool. She's in trouble and she needs help. The toys are all over, so she has to gather everybody, which kind of explains it. mean, it seemingly implies that Woody is  out in the world with Bo somewhere and Jessie has to track him down and bring him back to Bonnie's room to solve.

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whatever problem that she and Bonnie have found themselves in.  But it leaves the question open,  are Woody and Bo  still together?  I guess we will have to wait until Toy Story 5 hits theaters June 19, 2026. In other are they or aren't they news, the serious piping hot tea this week  is that Secret Lives of Mormon Wives season three premiered last week  with some serious bombshells.

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Jessie Negatacora, who I'm not sure if I'm saying her last name right, but she has since  dropped her married name on her social media, admitted that she had a short-lived emotional affair with Vanderpump Villa star Marciano Brunette, during which they kissed twice.  You might remember that at the end of season two,  they were kind of like, did she or didn't she have an affair with Marciano? And she was denying it.

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Season three, no, she's owning up to it.  Also shows Jessie and her husband Jordan undergoing therapy and a 90 day trial separation, but viewers are left unsure of where they might stand today.  And Taylor,  I feel like Taylor, Taylor, Taylor, Taylor, she could have her own podcast, just keep keeping up with Taylor's Tea.  Free idea for you, free title and everything, keeping up with Taylor's Tea.

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As we know, she will be the next Bachelorette, but, spoiler alert, skip ahead if you like surprises, this season wraps  with a very flirty meetup between her and Chase McQuarter. uh You might remember the swinging scandal  with the Mom Talk girlies. uh Chase and Miranda were married, but they were both  swinging with Taylor and both caught feelings for her.

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So this season ending with a meetup in which they both refer to it as a date.  They're throwing looks at each other. They're being very flirty. And the season ends with Chase saying to Taylor, well, should we kiss for old time's sake? In my very spectator opinion, no, Chase, you should not. Chase recently revealed on another podcast that he and Miranda are legally still married, even though they refer to each other as  ex spouses. Chase says that they're just too lazy.

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to make it official. Now, I can't see the face you're making right now, but I know you're making it. I'm seriously hoping that this was all just manufactured drama with their series.  I'm hoping that their series ending meetup was just manufactured drama because  one, Chase and Miranda are still married, two,  they take some serious pride in their co-parenting game. They are always together in their TikToks  and also in Taylor T.

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She revealed that while on a break with her baby daddy, Dakota Mortenson, he hooked up with an unnamed,  very close family friend, which was the  very last final straw for Taylor. I think that makes four women that Dakota has been linked to while  with Taylor. Not to throw shade, because  as she said, they were on a break, which brings the whole Ross and Rachel thing back together.  What exactly?

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is too far when on a break. Regardless, Taylor says that that door is closed and locked for good, which is good to hear now that videos are servicing on TikTok.  The Secret Lives cast members were in New York City for premiere week  and  those videos show Dakota getting  very flirty with Brooks Nader, who is of course a swimsuit model and star of the Hulu show, Love Thy Nader.  These  Hulu stars.

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Getting these casts together must be like organizing the Olympic Village. They must have like bowls of  prophylactics laying around everywhere. There is  a lot of cross promotion happening between these shows. Who is in charge of casting at Hulu and what comes first? Do you need to have the tea first? Do you need to have the...

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cross promotion happening to be awarded a Hulu contract or is Hulu orchestrating these events in which  the cross promotion is promoted?  I mean, we have Vanderpump Villa, have Love, Thineator and we have Secret Lives. That's like the top shows  on Hulu. They must be absolutely loving the free publicity. I mean, wasn't Secret Lives number one show last year? Who would have thought that a group of moms from Utah of the same religion

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would be such a cash cow for Hulu.  They just  met up to make TikTok sometimes then.  When I heard that Mom Talk was being given a reality show, I'm gonna be honest, I thought it was gonna be  a total flop. I didn't think these women were this interesting.  I was wrong.  They don't have just a couple  bones in their closet.  They have more skeletons than an anatomy lab. And speaking of mingling,  do we need to party more?

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The Atlantic says that we do. According to their data, only 4 % of Americans attended or hosted a social event on an average weekend or holiday in 2023. This is a 35 % decrease since 2004. The US Surgeon General calls American loneliness a public health issue. Roughly one in eight Americans reports having no friends.

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And as someone who is prioritizing in-person socialization right now, I can say that the average person with friends probably has a hard time scheduling because we are all so darn busy. If you are that one in eight Americans who thinks that they have no friends, this  podcast is for you.  These trending topics, these hot headline news stories that I'm sharing with you, I'm literally handing you the keys.

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strike up a conversation with somebody.  One in eight people report having zero friends and the other seven  probably only have a few. American loneliness is a public health issue. Chat up another mom. If you don't click and exchange numbers right away, at least you can say you made the effort. I know we talked last week about not staying at your kids' sports practices, but if you do, look to the mom next to you, bring one of these headlines up, have a little chat, compliment her shoes or her kids' game.

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Listen, I know we're all really busy right now with Thanksgiving being next week and you're probably thinking, well, I'm about to host 12 people. There's no way I'm lonely. I'm going to be one of those 4 % of Americans who attended a social event. Come back to me in January. Do you know what January is? The most depressing time of the year, at least for me. It is cold around here. It is snowy and it is damp and everybody is inside all day long. And you know what that leads to? Socializing.

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on your phone. Social media is social in name only. And I say this as somebody who is on social media a  whole dang lot of time. I think everybody should make a New Year's resolution to take some of their social media off of the phone and into real life. Set up a mom play date with or without your kids. I would suggest without, but that's just me. Because if there is one thing I know about moms is that we get things done.  And if Americans need to party more.

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I think it's up to the moms. I think the moms need to lead the way. Make a goal to meet a friend for coffee or for lunch in person, and then we can build from there. I think we should all be prioritizing in-person socializations  for nothing else  than to set that example for our kids. I I talked about this with my husband. I feel like play dates, in-person play dates, were a much bigger deal  when we were kids, like, in the  90s. I feel like play dates were happening all the time, and they weren't like just...

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meeting up like at a park, you'd go to somebody's house to play.  I feel like that's not as common these days. Set up a play date for your kids and invite the mom to stay. Offer her a drink and a snack and some  polite, light conversation.  Just get back in the practice of having friendships, maintaining friendships. It's not something that  I personally am great at. I'm kind of lacking in the friendship  maintaining.

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part of my life,  but that's something that I've kind of recognized in myself in the past  year or so, and I've really been making that a priority. But this article in the Atlantic really kind of drove it home for me that it's not just me,  it's literally all of us.  But if you do have an easy time making friends or feel less stressed,  do you have four or more kids? A new study out of Australian Catholic University and the Family Psychology Review

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shows that parents with four or more kids report feeling calmer and more fulfilled than those with fewer kids. Factoring into this could be that larger families share responsibilities and develop stronger emotional resilience. With more children, parents are less focused on perfection and more focused on connection,  and older siblings often help younger siblings reducing parental pressure.

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um This definitely would not be the case for me since  I happen to have babies every other year  So I would have a six-year-old a four-year-old a two-year-old  and a newborn right now um That seriously would put a dent in my in-person socialization and my need to party more  And no children of those ages are helping their siblings  I mean,  maybe my six-year-old would be able to do something like  run and fetch a diaper for me, but like

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anything more than that.  No, I would not.  I would not be feeling calmer, more fulfilled or less stressed if I had a fourth kid. And somewhere out there, my husband is listening and sighing a deep sigh of relief. But if you do have four or more kids, I want to hear from you.  Is this the case? Do you feel less stressed, calmer and more fulfilled than you did with three or less children?

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At the top of the show notes from today's episode, there is a link that says, send us a text.  You tap it and it will open in your messaging app and you can just send me a text directly.  I wanna know your thoughts on this.  You can also reach me on Instagram at at Caroline underscore Detment or at the Modern Mom Pod because I am seriously curious as a mom of three,  life is  very busy, very stressful. I do feel very fulfilled.

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And there are definitely times where I  feel very calm. It just happens to usually be after bedtime.  But there's a mom that I run into very often at activities around town where she has 15 kids  and she does  seem very calm and fulfilled. She's always reading a book, waiting for her kids to finish at some program. I feel like I need to get her on the pod. I need to interview her about having 15 kids and the dynamic and how it changed throughout.

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her child, childbearing years. So big,  family moms, I wanna hear from you, let me know. And that leads us to our Mom Hack Monday segment where I share something that is changing my life and making it easier.  And this week's Mom Hack is going to be a little bit controversial because  I know as moms, we want to feel like we always have everything under control  within our grasp, everything  is in our realm of possibility.

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Nothing is too big of an ask when you're a mom, but this is my mom hack. um It is outsourcing.  And yes, I said it. As much as you want to feel like you have everything under control and nothing is too much to ask of you as a mom,  it is.  Thanksgiving is next week. Christmas is next month. There is a lot. They don't call it the Christmas crunch for nothing. This is a busy, busy time of year. And I know that you're feeling it.

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What I want from you today is to give yourself a little bit of permission to outsource something  that will make your life easier. Get something off of your plate. Get that weight off of your shoulders. Make it somebody else's problem and give yourself a little bit of time, space, energy, mental space. Give yourself that back. So here is a big master list of things that you,  a mom, can outsource this week to make your life easier.

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in the holiday season. Because you have to remember, you are CEO of your household. The CEO has a big important job to do,  but the most important of it is  managing. CEOs hire people. They know when to hire people.  They know when something is best done by a literal professional, and they enlist their help to do it. And I'm here to tell you, this is the time.  The holiday season is the time to reduce your mental load.

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buy you back some time and stay in your lane as CEO of your household. So category one, home and cleaning. The number one thing people think about when they think about outsourcing a household task  is getting a housekeeper. This could even be just a one-time pre-holiday deep clean,  but enlisting somebody else's help to do that will buy you back so much time. Laundry, there are all sorts of wash, dry, fold services out there.

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I have in the past used an app called Poplin. It's kind of like Uber for laundry. You  bag up the laundry that you need done and leave it outside of your door.  Somebody comes, picks it up, wash dry fold. You pay through the app. It's a dollar a pound. Super easy. You could even just outsource washing your bedding and towels and reinvest that time elsewhere. Grocery shopping, obviously. Instacart, Amazon Fresh, curbside pickup. There are so many different ways to outsource grocery shopping these days.

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that it almost feels like a waste of time to do my own grocery shopping in person. just  derive so much personal joy from it.  There are meal prep services where they deliver pre-made meal kits. There are freezing meal services. There are fresh chef-repared meal services. You can outsource your lawn care and snow removal,  seasonal decorating, both outside and inside of your home. You can have professional installation for your Christmas lights outside of your home. I've actually was just talking to my husband about this this week.

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and you can outsource handyman tasks,  those little pesky things like hanging a shelf or making a small repair around your house that has been just bugging you for months on end and you just can't seem to find the time to get it done, get it done. Category two, childcare and kid logistics. Set up a carpool from school sports activities and you can rotate with other parents. Think about how much time per week you spend sitting in a pickup line at school.

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My mother-in-law was visiting last week and she pointed out to me how long I sit waiting at school in the morning  and in the afternoon. And I do it at two schools every day. And I'm going to be doing it at two schools every day  for a very long time to come. The age old outsource of babysitting.  not, mean, you can arrange a date night for your husband and get a babysitter, but you can also  enlist a babysitter or a mother's helper.

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so that you can just get some stuff done. I hired a mother's helper the last time we had a school vacation week  and she was just a college student who came and hung out with my kids while I was still in the house. She was fantastic. I don't think I've ever been more productive than I was that week. Category three, and this is one that you probably don't consider to be outsourcing and you're probably already doing each and every one of these suggestions. So pat yourself on the back because you are already an outsourcing queen.  This category is everyday mental load.

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We're talking Amazon subscribe and save on things that you are constantly purchasing like diapers, wipes,  paper towels, snacks that your kids are obsessed with, things that you are going to be continually buying, put it on subscription. Automatic bill pay.  Why are you manually logging in to pay your bills every month? Put it on autopay. Auto refills at the pharmacy. Probably the biggest mental load reduction for me has been having a shared calendar with my spouse.

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We even have like a separate category of our shared calendar that is just kid activities. So it shows up like as a different color  on our Google cow. This ensures that you will not be the only one in charge of remembering things.  Sure, you'll still be the point parent in most charge of everything running your house, but you won't be the only one aware. And this wouldn't ensure that. Meal prepping your own lunches so you're not stuck eating leftover macaroni and cheese over the sink  again.

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as if I'm speaking from experience here because I totally am. And this one I recently started doing, it is rotating capsule wardrobes. I've been using,  I did Nuuly for a while and right now I'm doing Fashion Pass. It's a really easy way to feel stylish and put together. And it's 10 items and two accessories every month. I have a code for a deal on your first two months if you're interested. I will put it in the show notes as well. But it's nice to have twice a month. uh

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a fresh new wardrobe to pick from, and it makes you feel better about yourself. Now, if you're listening to this list and you're thinking that, Caroline, times are tough right now,  you should not be recommending outsourcing and spending money.  Outsourcing doesn't have to cost money. This is probably going to be the hottest take of the entire episode, but outsourcing can be  letting your partner truly own a task from start to finish.

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I'm gonna say that again. Let your partner truly own a task from start to finish. If you wanna outsource seasonal decorating and putting up your Christmas lights, let your partner own that. Don't micromanage, don't tell them where to put what decoration, let them do it. Boom, outsourced, zero money. Delegate your chores to a child, give your toddler a Swiffer, let them wipe your baseboards.

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Don't spend all afternoon on your hands and knees when they're already down there. Or trade tasks with your mom, coworkers, your friends.  It can be as simple as like one mom watching all the kids while the other one cooks dinner for everybody and then you share a meal as two families. Or it can be carpooling, sharing school pickups, swap rides to soccer practice every week. Outsourcing doesn't have to cost you a dime. And it could also make you money. If you are listening to this list and thinking,  these are things

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that I enjoy doing, especially this time of the year. If you're somebody who really enjoys wrapping gifts, that is a really popular side hustle that I see in like the mom Facebook groups right now,  having people drop off unwrapped gifts at your house  and they will either use your aesthetic wrapping paper that you drop with your gifts or they'll use their own  and you'll pick up your fully wrapped gifts.  And that's a great moneymaker for stay at home moms right now.

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There's a mom I watch on TikTok sometimes when she comes across my feed and she is a poplin laundry partner. So she is  one of the people I was talking about earlier. She picks up laundry at people's homes, takes it home, launders it, dries it, folds it and returns it to them the next day.  And she makes a lot of money doing that.  entire, her entire account  is chronicling her side hustle and how much money she makes doing other people's laundry.

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And I don't know if you can hear in the background, but I am being called away from my podcast side hustle right now by an nap ending early and my dog freaking out downstairs.  So that will wrap up our show for today.  But before you go, if you are a boy mom,  if you have one or more sons, it is your turn today to leave a five star rating  wherever you are listening to the modern mom today.

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five star reviews really help more moms find our community here and avoid the American loneliness public health issue.  And with that,  I am Caroline Dettman. This is the Modern Mom. Have a great work week moms and I will see you right back here next week.